I noticed something quite interesting. I spotted a few selfish and watched and watched, and trust me, people are more interesting to watch than you would probably think. But anyways, I did watch and I almost got tempted to change my stripes for their team when I realized something: The selfish are winning.
The selfish are winning! It seems unbelievable but it’s the truth. You would think good karma would sympathise with those that go out of their way for others and give them confetti-pouring-firework-shooting-amazing payback especially after they’ve probably waited a long time for it and spent a long time on good deeds. Hmm…
Anyway, the selfish league consists of;
- Mr/Ms Give me you – the charmer of the team that requests your attention with their good humour, smiles, looks but will not give any extra attention to you if it seems to hurt their brains. If they have to feel a little uncomfortable to attend to you, forget it! Yet they keep on requesting your attention, sometimes even verbally and get quite upset when you are genuinely busy or haven’t gotten around to entertain their wants and little grumbles or attention.
I don’t even know why I’m trying to make a list or differentiate them when they’re probably all the same person. Maybe I’m just trying to differentiate the scenarios.
- Mr/Ms You shall fall – another charmer I should say, this team is full of it don’t you think? Pun very intended. But yeah, these are those that charm as usual with any possible trait they think an asset and want you to fall! They actually WANT you to fall for them. And when you don’t, they get upset or more accurately, disgruntled although what they didn’t tell you was that they don’t want to be tied to you that way. They don’t want to feel indebted to you for anything, and being that close to you might make them feel indebted. Yet, they want you to string along. They want love but don’t want to bear the risk of giving it.The convert selfish are probably scared to give it because of previous hurts.
- Mr/Ms I’m the only one in the room – Here is quite the opposite, they don’t aim to charm. They would rather stick out from the rest of the group so that you notice them. But not just stop at noticing them, but pay them extra favours which they somehow feel entitled to based on their selfish way of thinking. So let’s say the group was a rowdy one, then they (the selfish) all of a sudden are not in a mood to be happy, jovial, or whatever the hell the rest of the group is doing, they are all of a sudden in their space, need their space and are the exact opposite. Or, they try to one up on the group. So they’re the ones to tell the loudest jokes, make the rudest comments, or say the most inappropriate things. But that my friend, is just to get your attention that they truly want. The want the privileges certain titles would entail without necessarily getting the title. And even if they were given said title, they don’t want the extra responsibility it comes with.
4. and if you have a 5., then 5., are for you to add dear reader of mine.
But I looked at these people as an outsider looking in and I was totally blown out of the water when I realized that these guys/ ladies got the instant gratification. If they grumbled, made a face, or shouted at their victim, no matter what the hell they did, no matter the shocker or track stopper they pulled, they got what they wanted. The recipients of their attention got them what they wanted. Read over that statement one more time; The recipients of their attention GOT them what they wanted. And do you know the funny thing? Sometimes these recipients are absolutely privy of what’s in store for them because some of these people on the ‘S team’ are brutally honest. That, for the life of me I can’t figure out, I respect and find equally brutally admirable. The entire scenario to me is like a glittery stone to a 5 year old, like a rainbow horned unicorn just trotted down the sidewalk – utterly fascinating. The mere occurrence or maybe the brilliance behind the intelligence of it all is almost an art. Almost beautiful.
So getting out of my head there, I look at the ‘S league’ and their never ending plethora of fans and badges of accomplishment and the foul mouthed part of me thinks to myself ‘People actually like this shit!’.‘People are falling for this!’. ‘The damn world is downright eating out of their hands and asking them if there’s anything more it can do for them’. They’re playing ‘diva’.
Utterly, Mind. Blown.
And then I look over at the utterly selfless (which I am in no way claiming to be. I know how to be a little selfish sometimes, although I think I’m selfless 90% of the time, and 8% indifferent. But that 2%, that 2% I shamelessly own. If chocolate is involved, or someone I’m totally heart-bleeding for is involved though, the 2% gets amped up to about 80%. Okay, okay 85%… maybe higher) Anyway, I look over to the utterly selfless getting hurt as often as the selfish winning, and not being put first or really appreciated for those perceived ‘little’ things they do and my heart cries. And I cry too because I’m classified majorly in their league so I cry for myself because that’s what fate’s writing up for the selfless. And I can’t do much about it because no matter how I try to ‘S’ myself up, it doesn’t seem to work. I guess I was made this way?
And don’t try to patronize me with the fact that there are people that appreciate the selfless ones. I know that! Even the ‘S team’ appreciate the selfless. Who do you think about 70% or more of the people that break their backs to please the ‘S team’ are? But I cry because no matter the amount of people that appreciate the selfless, the elite that give back to them as much as they (the selfless) do to others are not as much as the selfless would like. Yes, I am standing up for my team. Or is it that we’re fading out? Is evolution happening? Because we don’t instantly get what we want, does that mean the World thinks we’re not strong enough? Are people not aspiring to be us because of that? Is that why we have been chosen as the weaker link by the Universe and are fading out? It could very much be that come to think of it. The future generation seeing the ‘instanter’ the selfish are getting and the heart break the selfless are getting and with not enough success stories from the selfless, the future is deciding to be more selfish.
Oh, do you know another difference between the selfish and the selfless? The selfish do not feel bad when they unknowingly hurt someone after they find out the fact (and a quarter or more of what they do will hurt, especially a selfless). Sometimes a twinge of hurt might sprout but is easily wiped out. But the selfless? Ha! The selfless would be feeling guilty a lot more running laps repeatedly in their minds because of it.
The selfish may also be prideful because they sometimes don’t know how to plead, except of course the times they need back that attention they’re missing, the occasional times they feel guilty or the few times they can’t seem to get help from anywhere else and absolutely need that help at the moment. But that also goes for any prideful person.
From all I’ve said, you may think that they are absolute horrible people. You may even be imagining them being ugly and ‘ogre-like’ but they know how to be nice, gracious, and are very beautiful depending on their genes. Everything you need to be attracted to them, they are. So guess what? The only way to spot them is to observe their actions like an outsider looking in, because if you are enchanted by their charms, the receiver of it, you wouldn’t know they were selfish and would probably justify the little signs that pop up until your heart gets smacked with a major hurt and you get left out in the cold whilst they’re cozied up by the heat your heart made for them.
So guess who should never get into a romantic relationship with the unrepentant selfish? You, if you are an utterly selfless. And guess who should get into a romantic or very-close-but-just-friends relationship with the unrepentant selfish? You again, if you are a selfless aiming for self destruction or just weren’t born with that little thing called self preservation.
Or, you if you think you have enough resolve to stop yourself from getting hurt, and most probably you if you were unfortunate enough to have one of the selfish as the one your heart absolutely bleeds for and you want to go Selena’s ‘the heart wants what it wants’ route.
Lesson: It pays to be selfish sometimes and for some things, but don’t be an unrepentant selfish. Be selfless with a healthy dose of selfish sometimes. But definitely be an unrepentant selfish for some things like; your significant other, your sanity, preserving your joy (we’ll talk about ‘joy’ in an upcoming post), etc. I’m sure you get the gist.