Believe it or not, this post was adopted from a sermon by Kerry Shook titled ‘Sandpaper people’. Wait! Don’t run away. I know some people get offended, defensive, upset, or any of the other one billion emotions out there at the mention of ‘church’, ‘sermon’ or anything Christ-related. Well, I am not here to deliver a sermon, so relax and read on…
There are various tools in a toolbox depending on the nature of a person’s job. But for today’s post, we are basic carpentry tools. Now, I did not study carpentry, neither am I a carpenter so don’t have extreme expectations of the list of tools I’m going to be talking about today, you’ll just be setting yourself up for major disappointment. Because, some of them may not even be used in carpentry??? One is not even an actual tool (I just looked at my list again)
Measuring tape people:
The measuring tapers (almost sounds like the name of a band) are people that make other people feel like they don’t measure up. I personally think it’s more common in spousal relationships and parent-child relations where a spouse/partner feels like whatever they do doesn’t seem to be enough. Or, a child feels like they can never measure up to their parents or their peers their parent(s) has/ve compared them to. Lesson to be learnt here is; Other people are not the standard for measuring others, and, appreciate the people around you. When you show appreciation for the little they do, they’ll be encouraged to do even more. People are not encouraged if they feel like the gum at the bottom of someone’s shoes.
These people have no softness whatsoever. They are people that are always hard and pushy. Everything they say is hammered down.
Vice grip people:
The vice grippers have sticky claws (not literally, of course). They are people that are very needy and can’t let go. They are like the takers we talked about in ‘The takers‘.
These people are people that have explosive personalities. When it comes to anger, 911 has to be on speed dial and everyone around has to watch out and be ready to duck because, the grinders will explode in anger to get things off their chest which might hurt others in the process.
These are the people that are always chopping, chopping,chopping. They are always complaining.
With these people, the hatchet is always alive because, they don’t know how to forgive. Thus, the hatchet is never buried.
I don’t think there’s any tool called ‘the pudge‘ or how this fits into our carpentry analogy, but just flow with me. The ‘pudgies’ are people that have all the softness. Thus, they are easily pushed around or are always trying to please others, or both.
Finally, we have the Sandpaper people who are people that just irritate us (because sandpaper is rough and irritating to the touch). It’s like their mission in life is just to annoy or irritate us.It’s funny because the ‘people’ I think we should all aspire to be are the sandpaper people, that is, with the level of ‘annoyingness’ toned down by a thousand or so. I am not saying we should make it our mission in life to annoy the heck out of everyone we meet. Neither am I saying we should be pudgy. ‘Cause where’s the fun in that?
All I am saying is that, in all our different personalities, there should be a positiveness to us that makes the other person a bit better than they were before. The experts at smoothing out rough edges are the sandpapers, no matter how irritating they might be. Thus, we in turn should let the sandpaper people do their jobs in our lives – smoothen out our rough edges- even though the journey to being that shinier, polished, better person is an irritating and often painful process. If anything, sandpaper people can teach us patience.
When trying to get the chip out of someone’s eyes, don’t hit him/her with the 2×4 in your own eye… (Bible reference paraphrased here *cough* *cough*)
Don’t go frowning now because I mentioned the Bible. Just get the point, which is; We know the ‘the truth hurts’. But, the truth doesn’t ALWAYS hurt. Sometimes, it doesn’t hurt at all. Other times, it does, but delivering it like a vexed samurai smashing, kicking and punching six ways to Sunday will probably do the opposite of helping the recipient – who probably looks/feels like a Mac truck just rolled over them- And, increase that hurt that the truth sometimes does, by a hundred. Our delivery is important. Tough love is not applicable in ALL cases, and to EVERYONE. The problem with wrong delivery is that sometimes the person feels so hurt, they only remember the feeling and not really the correction/ truth you were trying to deliver. In essence, we have to try to know the proper way to do the do as regards a specific situation and individual and not have a universal formula for everyone and every situation. It won’t always work…
…People are either placed/ transit through our lives for a reason and likewise, we them. However, we define the purpose of those relationships. Who knows? we might have to switch up tools a couple of times. But can we please just get along? Can we please help each other? we’re all in the same toolbox.